Last Sunday I finally ran my first competitive half marathon after months of training. I never thought that I would have the necessary fitness to finish quite well. Next year, a full marathon is on the schedule. At the beginning of the year, my girlfriend and I moved into our absolute dream apartment. Next week we are going on our long-awaited vacation to the fjord landscape of Norway. I have successfully recovered from a burnout in the last two years and my business is running better today than ever before.
 
I was really bad at school. In subjects like math, physics, etc., I couldn't grasp the simplest things. I loved video games, movies and art, but the general view was that I should focus on the bad grades and do something meaningful with my life. Good grades open up opportunities for you in life, right? Classmates and generally people in my school made fun of me for wearing makeup, tight clothes and jewelry. Genetically, I have eyelids that don't open wide, so they made fun of that too. Things like "You look like you are on drugs" etc. were commonplace. I also always had a weird emotional feeling. Today I know I have a form of social anxiety and sometimes depressive episodes. Basically, I hated a lot of my childhood and already didn't have particularly high expectations going into adult life.
 
What the hell does this have to do with business? Everything.
 
Today, I run a successful business in the creative industry, make more money than any single person I went to school with, and work on things that fascinate me: Video games, movies, art. I'm also in a position where I can fulfill my dream of traveling a lot, I live in a high-standard neighborhood and apartment, and I know how to deal with my emotional side.
 
Why am I telling this story?
 
Life is hard, especially when it slaps you in the face every day. But just because you had a hard time in school, you have emotional preconditions, idiots crush your confidence, or life just throws rocks in your path, doesn't mean you won't succeed in life.
 
If you're good at something, keep investing time in it, no matter if someone says you should do something more meaningful with your life. How the hell does that person know what makes you happy? You have a difficult life on the emotional side and people always ask you why you're so quiet or why you're not laughing? Honestly, f*ck them. It's absolutely okay the way you are. At a certain point, I started not giving a damn about what comes out of other people's mouths.
 
I believe that life really takes care of you if you work towards a better tomorrow every day. There is always a way. In the end, it's worth going through it all. You'll come out of it a stronger person, and eventually it will be easier to deal with stressful situations and you'll start to take on life's challenges with joy.
 
If I can run a damn half marathon in the middle of summer, dehydrated and with pain in my legs, then you can overcome your hurdles too!

I'm finally done with this piece, just in time before the year ends. And this is a special portfolio piece for me.
 
The last 3 years have been the biggest roller coaster ride I've had in my life. From making more money than I ever dreamed of and working on absolute dream projects, to extreme mental health issues, almost giving up my profession as a 3D artist, selling most of my financial assets acquired in the last few years and cutting off most of my social contacts. Rebuilding everything from scratch was extremely draining and painful. Even finding joy in creative things and not just doing it to make money was a heck of a process. Understanding what is really important to me and how I should handle both myself and my life was the biggest learning experience.
 
I'm so glad that I can look back today and tell myself that it was worth it to go through it all, no matter how hard it was in between. I'm so grateful for all the business opportunities I have had this year, for the people I have met, and for having a personal life that brings me more joy than I could have ever dreamed. I feel more productive, fulfilled and balanced than ever before.
 
Why am I telling this? There are probably many people out there who struggle with one thing or another in life. Maybe it's finances, health, or a combination of many different things. Have you ever felt like everything is too much and that everything is going down the drain? Life can be so painful, and often no one around us realizes that we are struggling all day.
 
One thing I learned during my struggle adventure was to talk to someone. Someone you trust. It's very painful to tell someone about your deepest thoughts and feelings, but it will help. You don't have to go through everything in your life alone. Don't carry the burden on your shoulders. In situations where we are on the verge of losing all confidence in ourselves, we need someone to help us get back on track. Does it get easy then? Life is probably still hard, but having someone to walk the path with takes a lot of pressure, sadness, and self-destructive thoughts away and puts what's going on in our heads into perspective. And please, never give up on yourself! No matter how hard everything is. It's worth it in the end. The belief in a positive tomorrow is what no one can take away from you.
 
I wish you all a successful and healthy start into the new year. Take care of yourself!

More images of the character can be found here: Bounty Hunter, Lennard Claussen

I recently had the opportunity to be on Christoph Redl's Game.Art.Talk podcast. We talked about work ethic, switching from industry to industry, freelancing, etc. Feel free to check it out. 

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/episode/7quadTbjF7bwWMVQSo6cKp?si=9119336a3b3148ff

Youtube: EPISODE 024: Lennard Claussen – Freelance Senior CG Consultant - YouTube 

I had the great opportunity to write a bit about my workflow, plugins and tools I use.  

You can read the full article here: https://80.lv/articles/001agt-004adk-stylized-sci-fi-rifle-in-maya-substance-painter/